In this week’s episode of Your Permission to Pause I cover one my favourite topics so far: boundaries. How Setting Boundaries Can Supercharge Your Success, is all about those invisible (but oh-so-crucial) lines that help driven female leaders, like many of you, navigate both personal and professional arenas with grace and effectiveness.
Let’s start with the basics: What exactly are boundaries? The term gets thrown around a lot and its exact meaning can be a bit vague. Essentially, boundaries are the guidelines we set for ourselves that define what we find acceptable and unacceptable in our interactions with the world around us. These guidelines help us protect our time, energy, and well-being. They are, in essence, our non-negotiables and tolerance levels.
Boundaries are just as much about how we behave and the habits we form as they are about what we expect from others. They affect every aspect of our lives, from relationships to professional engagements, and even our financial and personal space considerations.
In this episode, I talk about why boundaries are so critical, especially for women in leadership roles. Healthy boundaries can lead to better work-life balance, enhanced productivity, and improved mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Additionally, leaders with firm boundaries inspire their teams and foster a culture of respect and clarity within their organisations.
However, setting boundaries isn’t always smooth sailing, especially for women. Societal biases often paint women as nurturers and peacemakers, which can make asserting our needs feel selfish or aggressive. Many of us fear that setting boundaries might damage relationships, impact our careers, or result in being labelled as “not committed.”
These fears are real and valid. They stem from long-standing gender stereotypes that undervalue female assertiveness. But, I want to remind you that respect in a professional setting often trumps the need to be liked. Staying true to your values and what you need to thrive should be your top priority.
To help you on your journey, I shared these practical steps to setting boundaries effectively. Here’s a quick recap:
- Start with Your Values: Understand what matters most to you. Whether it’s family time or physical fitness, let these values guide your boundaries.
- Communicate Clearly: People aren’t mind-readers. Once you’ve identified your boundaries, communicate them clearly without over-explaining or apologising.
- Practise Your Script: Prepare what you want to say and practise it. It helps in communicating your needs assertively and calmly.
- Reflect on Patterns: Look back at the past few weeks and identify when you felt the most stretched or resentful. These instances are clues to where your boundaries might need reinforcing.
- Listen to Your Body: Our physical responses can often clue us in when something is off. Whether it’s a stomach drop or sweaty palms, tune into what your body is telling you.
I also introduce the acronym FREEDOM to serve as a handy checklist for setting and maintaining your boundaries.
F is for Flexibility: Understand that your boundaries might need adjusting as circumstances change.
R is for Raise the Issue: Educate others about your boundaries.
E is for Explicit: Be clear and direct about what you need.
E is for Exclusive: Remember, your boundaries are unique to you.
D is for Decide on the Consequences: Be clear about what happens if a boundary is violated.
O is for Onus on You: It’s your responsibility to maintain your boundaries.
M is for What Matters Most: Your boundaries should align with your core values.
Setting boundaries is an essential skill for any leader, but it’s especially crucial for female leaders navigating the complexities of today’s workplace. Not only do clear boundaries help you maintain your well-being, but they also enhance your leadership effectiveness and inspire those around you to do the same.
If you haven’t listened to the episode yet, I invite you to do so – it’s packed with insights and practical advice to help you thrive by setting healthy limits. And as always, if you found the episode helpful, please share it with someone else who you think might benefit.
Thank you for tuning in, and I look forward to our next conversation on Your Permission to Pause. You can listen to the episode here.
